I am a management consultant by profession and hold a Master’s degree in Business Administration. Before I was saved, I was a Buddhist. There were not any Christians in the history of my family. Furthermore, the environment that I was born into and grew up in was totally secluded from Christianity; Buddhism was prevailing there.
When I was in the United Kingdom in 1994, the Gospel was preached to me for the first time. I had not been impressed by it until a Christian became a testimony of God’s love to me. My heart was touched by the expression of Christ in her and I started to question things and to seek out God. This Christian sister belonged to the Protestant denomination. Somehow, although I knew nothing about God by then, in my heart, I could not accept ‘division’ among Christians. Based on this, I believe that God had implanted this feeling into my being long before I was born again, and that feeling had started to grow as it received life through the Gospel. Even today, I cannot understand questions such as “Which church do you belong to?” or “Of what denomination are you?” To me, all Christians belong to God. We are all brothers and sisters in the family of Christ.
I used to be a tough and determined person. In addition, I was capable of surviving on my own. I managed to have what I desired from the world, (i.e. I lived a good quality life, I had a good career, and I gained a lot of exposure to various experiences through intensive traveling). However, deep in my heart, there was something that I yearned for that was missing (i.e. real peace and joy). In the past, I used to depend on outward stimulus to gain happiness, but I felt void and empty at heart when the events were over; whereas, now my happiness and joy is innate and my heart is at peace consistently.
As the Lord led, I moved from Malaysia to the United States and began to meet with the local churches and to be a member in oneness with the Body of Christ. To me, to live in the Body is to live in the heavens. He who lives in his spirit is genuine and and touches people’s hearts. I realized that religion had been teaching me to do good things on my own; whereas, what I needed was to rely on Christ. In addition, I must submit my will to Christ within me in order to live by His Spirit (John 6:57; Ephesians 5:24; Galatians 5:25). Subsequently, I must rely on Him as the only source of my life. This truly has been my experience, because when I first called upon His Name, I was at the point where I would rather die than to live. At that low point, I no longer trusted my natural self as the master of my life. In addition, I no longer believed in my own ability. I truly realized that human ability is nothing compared to God’s sovereignty. How could I still stand on my own feet while there is a sovereign power to lean on?
In the end, I realized that living by the divine life is truly a matter of our pure heart for God. I consider myself a blessed one as I have been well taken care of by the Lord since I called upon Him. All I have given Him has been only my genuine heart. In my prayer, I always declared “Lord, I could afford to lose the whole world, but I could not afford to lose You. You are my first love. Even if You give me nothing, I will still love You. You can take away everything on earth from me, but please do not take Yourself, the peace, in me. Amen!